Deep Dive: Ayumi Hamasaki Part Five (I am...)

    I've had a bad week, so it's nice to be reviewing an album where Hamasaki is a symbol of peace on the cover. It also helps the music itself is fun! I am... was probably the biggest introduction for many people in the west. It features many of Hamasaki's most iconic hits, and she extended her influence during promotions of this album and its many singles. Her music videos became more and more like art ("M.") Her singles were featured in more media like anime ("Dearest" was an ending theme to the popular Inuyasha anime.) Hamasaki also promoted the album throughout Europe ("Connected" was released as a single in Germany.) Hamasaki continued to be an unstoppable force. Let Ayu be your symbol of peace during this deep dive!

    For some background, the album's concept was inspired by the September 11th attacks. One of the album's singles, "A Song Is Born," was released as a charity single because of this. That single version featured KEIKO from Globe. The version featured here is a solo version by Hamasaki. Hamasaki also composed a majority of the tracks for this album under the pen name "CREA" which marked her first time doing so. Previously, she had just written the lyrics. As a result, we get a noticeable style shift here. I am... features an amazing pop rock sound in the vision of Hamasaki. The compositions, themselves, are more bold and risky, but they all pay off. We get a ballad-power ballad hybrid of "M," the atmospheric opener "I am...," the futuristic trance of "Connected," and the music box alt rock of "Never Ever." There's not a bad song amongst the bunch as Hamasaki really came out of the gate swinging.

    The first song is the title track, "I am..." A pop rock song that begins with an acapella. Hamasaki bravely sings the opening lyrics and then this drumbeat begins that makes you think your back in the misty mountains somewhere. It's. So. Cool. It's a great song to open the album with and really provides this album with a unique opening as Hamasaki's previous albums began with instrumental openers. We also get some autotune at the end for dramatic effect. 

    "Opening Run" follows afterward, and it is the first instrumental track of the album. An extended version is featured on the "Daybreak" single. It's nice and would work well if it was made into a full song complete with lyrics. 

    "Connected" is one of the few songs on the album that Hamasaki did not compose. Trance pioneer Ferry Corsten is responsible for this number. It's really opens your imagination and makes you think of a Final Fantasy-like future. The song is hot. It's exciting and stays exciting throughout its whole duration. 

    HAL is back again for this album having appeared on just about every Hamasaki release including her previous effort, Duty. We're staying cool with this next track titled "Unite!" The opening piano sets a adventurous tone. "Unite!" absolutely flies like a white dove during its choruses. The lyrics are also triumphant as hell. "Holding freedom in my right hand/and love in my left." So very cool. 

    There will never be a time when "evolution" is not a hot, chic, and sleek song. It's best played loud. Hamasaki combines pop, rock, and even dance/trance here in a way that has yet to be replicated. Its opening is almost a red herring because you might think with its pianos, "is this a ballad?" No, it is not. It's Hamasakism in its purest form from the music to the vocals. 

     "Naturally" continues to prove that the non-single album tracks do not miss either. I am... is seriously a no skip, no filler album. Long time fans will probably agree with me that you start with the first track and don't stop singing until "Flower Garden" is over. I was obsessed with this album and Hamasaki back in the day. Because of songs like "Naturally," I have to say this is probably my favorite Hamasaki release.

    I am forever salty that some of the singles don't have music videos like "Unite!," "A Song is Born," and your new favorite track right here, "Never Ever." It got a 1 minute promotional video because Hamasaki was so busy she couldn't film music videos a lot. It'd be nice if for an anniversary if she filmed videos for her popular early singles like this one, "A" from LOVEppears, and "H" from RAINBOW like she did for "End of the World" from Duty. 

    Anyways, back to the task at hand. The opening and outro of "Never Ever" are so trippy and whimsical. It reminds me of a music box in a way. It's a chef's kiss of production though. Seriously makes this pop rock track unique and even more memorable. Hamasaki plays with her vocal style here a little bit to match the production. One of my favorites from her. And the lyrics? "If only one of your wishes came true/if only one of your wishes came true/what would you pray for?/what would you pray to the sky for?" So beautiful.

    "Still Alone" continues the themes Hamasaki has established from previous albums. Even the title alone seems like a continuation of the overarching story she has told thus far. Sonically it's still a perfect Hamasaki song. D.A.I is credited as a co-composer here alongside of Hamasaki and Matsuda Junichi who both return to work with Hamasaki on this album. Something to note here is that Tasuku is credited as an arranger. This and the following track are the first time that Hamasaki has collaborated with him. They would go on to collaborate on just about every album for the foreseeable future. 

    "Taskinlude" is the first of a tradition for Hamasaki albums. Tasuku created this interlude as he would many for Hamasaki. Hamasaki has a love for interludes and baits and switches with them a lot. This is one that I'm fine with staying an interlude though. It does a good job for setting us up for the next track...

    Which is the legendary "M!" A quintessential Hamasaki track that is perhaps her most recognizable. I love this song so much. There's so much lore behind it too. Apparently fellow singer, model, and labelmate, hitomi, told Hamasaki the story about "Maria." Which Hamasaki then wrote this song about, as "M" stands for "Maria" and certain album pressings even had the song incorrectly called "Maria." Then it also came out not long ago that this song is about Max Matsuura, Hamasaki's executive producer (who also returned to executively produce I am...) and Avex Trax head at the time. A drama and book based on Hamasaki's life also takes its title from this song, M ~Aisubeki Hito ga Ite~. I have not seen or read it, but it seems very... Messy. Also, Hamasaki decided to compose the song herself as nothing her staff presented to her fit her vision. Which is damn cool. 

    I got too wrapped up in lore there for a minute, but I think it's essential for such a legendary song. "M" is such a beautiful piece of art. It's a winter ballad with gorgeous, lush instrumentals. It switches lanes completely almost halfway into the song and by the end finishes so triumphantly you're left in awe. This song had no choice but to become a mega, career-defining hit. Hamasaki's charisma and performance really carries the whole song. 

    I much prefer the solo album version of "A Song is Born." KEIKO goes a little too hard on the single version, I think. Which I feel differs from her works with globe, in a way. Or perhaps KEIKO's and Hamasaki's voices don't mesh well for me. Hamasaki sounds right at home here on the album version. This marked the first time she collaborated with producing mastermind, Komuro Tetsuya. If you don't know him, there is not much he hasn't done. The man was invincible in the 90s. He gave us Avex Trax heavyweights such as TRF, Amuro Namie, hitomi, and Kahala Tomomi. (And even more!) Hamasaki's whole artistry in her early days was apparently made to counteract Komuro's success. As Matsuura apparently stated he wanted to make a successful act without Komuro's involvement to show him up and knock him down a peg. Not sure if that's true or not, but I have heard the rumors for years. 

    Anyways, it worked as Hamasaki became Avex's flagship act and face. I kinda wonder if this collaboration wasn't a way of Matsuura rubbing Hamasaki's success in Komuro's face. He had significant commercial decline by this time, and many acts he produced cut ties with him. It's almost like he needed Hamasaki to collaborate with him and not the other way around.

    Nevertheless, be on the lookout during a future deep dive because Komuro returns to produce Hamasaki's Love songs album in 2010. Komuro's career in general is really just interesting and gossip fodder. I recommend looking it up when you're feeling like a busybody. 

    I got really off track again. Hahaha! So here's a burst of nostalgia. "Dearest." Hamasaki's most beautiful and compelling ballad. It was used as an ending theme song for Inuyasha. Hamasaki's vocal performance here is spot on. It's so fun to sing along and emote to this song. It's a gorgeous piece musically, too. Everybody can sing along to the chorus "ah~ itsuka eien no..." That "ah~" is such a simple, smart, and effective hook. I always seek this song out from late October to late February. A perfect example of a ballad done right.

    "No More Words" is a nice song, and we noticeably start to wind down here. Another great album track that you could even call a deep cut. It must have been a challenge to pick singles from this album as all of the songs are amazing. 

    "Endless Sorrow" has been reborn here on the album with the "Gone with the Wind" version. I much, much, much prefer the single version as it is more dynamic and dramatic. The album version features significant changes, though. The high-pitched belt right before the chorus is much calmer. The song itself is much more calm and doesn't have as much at risk as the single version. Sonically, it fits in a little more with songs like "Never Ever" and "I am..." Though the single version has no problem doing this as well as it fits in with songs like "Unite!" and "evolution" better. It's a great album ender nonetheless. 

    Though... We have a secret track here too!! "Flower Garden" perfectly encompasses Hamasaki's new vision of hope and peace for the album and ends it on a warm fun note. Perhaps the juxtaposition between the songs bridges Hamasaki's vision from the old to the new. 

    Overall, I stay continuedly satisfied with I am... I think it's such a brilliant, career defining record. Definitely a right step in the right direction for Hamasaki. It's always going to be a fan favorite and pop music fan favorite. It's definitely a favorite of mine that I hold near and dear to my heart! It also serves as a bridge into her next record RAINBOW which continues the trend of light and hope and general upbeat-ness and brightness. But we'll talk about that next time. 

Rank: S Rank! I am... always going love Ayu!

Recommendation: I listen and sing along while I clean my house!

Standouts:

    You can't go wrong with the singles! Or any of the tracks, really!