Deep Dive: Ayumi Hamasaki Part Nine (MY STORY)

    It's crazy to think this album is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year. A certain someone is celebrating their 30th birthday today, and I'm glad this album will be the post to represent that. I was 10 when this album dropped! Just a kid! I loved this album as a kid too. And I still do love it as a full-grown adult. Hamasaki stated she was unsatisfied with her previous efforts as she felt rushed to make them, so she took her time on this one and wrote without a deadline. Which might explain why Memorial Address was a mini-album, so she could dedicate more time to this opus of an album she crafted. 

    You know what, we're all beginning a new year filled with new milestones. I hope whatever it is this year, you can feel satisfied and take your time to craft your masterpieces. Whatever they are. Dedicate time to the things you love, cherish them, and grow yourself as person. Today I'm sending much love to wherever you are in the world. 

    Anyways, back to the album. MY STORY is largely a rock album told through a 2000s lens. And it's hot. It ventures into pop but does so through the lens it establishes early on. Hamasaki really said while crafting this album "I love rock, and I'm good at it. I'm a pop star, so let's dedicate a moment to that. And winter ballads are where I shine like white snow. Let's make a few of those." Her strengths are on full display here. You can feel her enthusiasm for this album and the material. Let's feel the enthusiasm too and deep dive!

    "Catcher In The Light" opens us up here. It's pop rock with Hamasaki vocalizing in places with a few lyrics to tease us. We're immediately introduces to Hamasaki's intentions here sonically. And it's a good appetizer for what's to come. It gives us RAINBOW vibes though MY STORY is very unlike that album.

    "About You" is the first proper song on Hamasaki's sixth studio effort. Whereas "Catcher In The Light" was light and poppy with a tinge of edge, "About You" features an aggression we've not really seen from Hamasaki thus far. Which carries through the whole album. The guitars are like cheese and wine and they are fine. Hamasaki stated she was writing previously to "give people hope and to write something good." Here she's just writing "freely and honestly." Which maybe explains the aggression because around this time she was unsatisfied with her label for treating her like a product instead of a person. Which many people can relate too. How many times has your job left you feeling like no one cares about you? This answer probably varies person to person, but it's a universal theme nonetheless. 

    A big theme of the album both through lyrics and sound is being unapologetic and telling harsh truths. Which is where the honesty comes from. And you can hear it through Hamasaki's delivery as she tells her story. 

    "GAME" was featured as a b-side on the "INSPIRE" single. The opening verse is soft and beautiful, but we soon dive into a world of hard-hitting rock. Which is just cool as hell. There's some vocal effects here too to add to the gritty tone. The electronics of the track really help sell it. 

    "my name's WOMEN" has always been a favorite Hamasaki track of mine. It just has so much going on in it. The hook is spectacular. The instrumentation itself is catchy. Hamasaki sounds so badass here. It features more pop that what we have become used to, but the flavor is the same as the previous tracks. MY STORY perhaps features the best seamless flow for Hamasaki from one track to the next. This, so far, has been an impressive 4 track run too, and it doesn't even feature one single. The first single doesn't even appear until you're 9 tracks into the album. So there's lots to look forward to. 

    Then we come to a nice interlude aptly titled "WONDERLAND." As that's what it sounds like. There's a nice whimsicality here that sets us up for the album's second act. As there are multiple acts. We're on track 5 of a 17 track album. 

    Let's take a moment to talk about who is on the roster of this album. We have Yukumi Tetsuya returning (and he's here a lot). Bounceback returns after making their first appearance on Memorial Address. Hamasaki herself does some composing under her pseudonym, CREA. Which really speaks to her taking control of this project. HAL and CMJK are here as normal. Most curiously, DAI is missing after appearing on only one song of Memorial Address. But everyone here has some of their best work featured. 

    "Liar" feels to be inspired by I am... a bit though it hits harder than anything that album has to offer. It goes hard. It has the personality and darkness of something from Duty too. Which makes for an interesting track. It's just a really nice song with Hamasaki's natural experimental attitude. 

    "HOPE or PAIN" continues the melancholy. It's also whimsical like the few tracks before it. Hamasaki will continue to go in this direction a bit and flirt with tracks like this on her follow up studio efforts, (miss)understood, Secret, and even GUILTY. And she nails it each time. Songs like this belong entirely to her. MY STORY is very inspired by the sound of the west during this time. But it has aged so well due to Hamasaki steering it naturally as influenced by her own artistry. The little quirks she adds to her sound to make it hers is what keeps everything she records legendary and influential. 

    Songs like "HAPPY ENDING" continue to help Hamasaki releases seem like the giant pop events that they are. Anytime Hamasaki announced an album around this time, the TeamAyu fandom became frenzied. And even fans of pop music. Because you knew she'd deliver on tracks that would be good, interesting, and progressive. "HAPPY ENDING" is no exception. It's creative and a thought-provoking ballad. There's this anxiousness and anticipation to it that the other tracks haven't displayed yet. It's great.

    "HAPPY ENDING" signaled that we're slowing things down bit by bit with midtempo numbers. "Moments" is an ambitious ballad that comes naturally for Hamasaki. The long intro with the lalala's is an earworm tactic Hamasaki has weaponized since the very beginning on A Song for xx. There's just something so melancholy green spring about this song. If this album had a quintessential song, I'd no doubt say that it is this one. The chorus is catchy and such fun to sing along to. It's a deep reflection of Hamasaki and everything she stands for. 

    We are in full ballad territory now. "walking proud" greatly takes MY STORY's aggressive rock style and adopts it into an emotional ballad to impressive results. This is one of my most treasured ballads of Hamasaki's. The instrumental is so fragile yet powerful. And it screams winter. It's a career standout, for sure. I know every syllable and sing along by heart each time. 

    And with "CAROLS," we come to the end of our one, two punch of ballads. "CAROLS" is the picture perfect example of a winter ballad, and a ballad done right. It's memorable. It's sad. It's not boring. The bridge makes us excited for that last chorus. It's enchanting to sing along to. Especially when it snows!

        Then "Kaleidoscope" sets us up for the album's impressive encore act. It signals there's something new coming along and to get ready for it, but also we're saying goodbye to the previous ballad chapter. I just realized that MY STORY and its singles all came out in the same year. Which probably helped with its cohesion as its release wasn't spread out. Which is one of its greatest strengths. Its impressive style is featured throughout and gives it a timelessness. 

    "INSPIRE" was Hamasaki's summer single for 2004. It was also the album's best selling single. The intro is so interesting. It brings us back to the energy we were introduced to at the album's beginning. There's a lot going on in the background too. Nothing about it really screams summer. Which is okay. It's still a great, upbeat, pop rock song. I'm sure it sounds so impressive live!

    "HONEY" is the cutest song on the album, and proves that Hamasaki can do sonically consistent songs in varying styles to shake things up a bit. It's also the album's most pop song. This song is a fan favorite and for good reason. It's so upbeat and fun. It's similar to "ANGEL'S SONG" from Memorial Address but just with a little more going on. Hamasaki's vocal style is also jovial. Which is a direct departure from the aggressive delivery we have become used to.

    Many reviewers think Hamasaki throws the kitchen sink into her albums trying to please as many listeners as possible (like if you liked rock from I am..., you'll like songs here. And if you liked dance from LOVEppears, you'll like the pop here), and I get that. She is guilty of this quite frequently in later albums. You could argue that is being done here. And you wouldn't necessarily be wrong. "HONEY" and the following songs stick out like a sore thumb. But a good song is a good song. It doesn't fit with the album's lyrical theme and musical rock preferences, but it does fit in with the album's visual concept of a female pop star in her bedroom living it up. Doing whatever she pleases and embracing herself. You can't stay mad, so Hamasaki giving us brightness towards the album's end as almost a send off. And as someone who toured as much as she did during this time, songs like these sound amazing live. And Hamasaki wants to give her audiences heartful shows. As she has showed all the time. Songs like "HONEY" do this.

    "Replace" is in a similar triumphant vein of "HONEY." Hamasaki is free and honest here as well. And it's a nice song done in the album's pop rock style. 

    "winding road" slows us down again and winds us down. It's a nice little ballad with nice little strings tickling us in the instrumentation. The guitar solo on it is very much welcomed. It plays into the free and honest theme as well like the latest tracks. 

    Then we arrive at the last track which is an explosion of the album's memorable go hard rock sound presented to us in one last burst to remind us Hamasaki is the boss. And she always will be. She sounds great and confident here like she's making a brilliant indie record in her garage to play live at a festival instead of one of the year's most highly anticipated records. It's got a lot of classic Hamasakisms going on. The crowd chanting. The triumphantness of the final song. The recognizable vocal delivery. It's a great sendoff to a intensely satisfying record. 

    I love MY STORY. It's a great record to put on to listen to while you work when you can't constantly pick out a song you want to listen to. It continues to prove why Hamasaki can have the best of both worlds and be an insanely successful singles artist as well as memorable album artist. Which is a hard balance for many artists to strike. Hamasaki sets up and irons out the kinks of a formula here (along with Memorial Address) she would utilize for the foreseeable future of dance numbers, rock numbers, midtempos. and ballads. For better or worse though mostly to much fanfare. I do hope you will give it a listen and let its songs be anthems for you throughout the whole year!

Rank: S Rank. Hamasaki's story is a great one.

Recommendation: Like I said. Listen to it while working!

Standouts:

    The singles and the album's first half are songs you can't go wrong with!